tired of life, people, and constantly falling back. Tried therapy it doesn't seem to fucking work. I just want to take my hatred out on people and bring a few to hell before I descend with them. But it sucks having this much hate and so little ways of expressing it. I hate this hatred inside of me and I hate that I can't do anything a out it but writhe in my own fucking seethe. I hate people and this god damn world, nothing but narcissistic niggers causing low self esteem in people, and give us simple advice just so they can laugh as we fall back on our faces again. FUCK YOU

This is my call to anyone else who may be on this obscure site. I’m too scared to actually go public out of fear for my life, but to anyone who reads this: tell your friends, tell your family not to donate their organs. The industry in America is as rotten and evil as you can imagine. Organ donation is a scam that the ultra-rich have convinced us we are doing as a good deed for our fellow humans. The reality is much darker than that. I personally witnessed firsthand the lies they tell people. First, dead people don’t become organ donors. It’s not like media or cartoons portray it where someone donates their organs in the nick of time to save a little girl who needed a kidney transplant. The truth is they need you very much alive to act as an incubator, to keep your organs as healthy as possible. The more “alive” you are, the better for the organs, obviously. You just dont get to die on your own terms. So if dead people don’t become organ donors, who do they find? Second, the industry is managed by groups that are typically secondary to hospitals. There are companies that contract with hospitals to notify them when a patient meets the qualifications of being an organ donor. The speed at which these companies are notified is terrifying. They know about a patient’s condition sooner than the doctor overseeing that patient. I watched someone become a candidate minutes after coming out of surgery and not waking up fast enough. Within minutes, we knew everything about him and had started making plans if he continued to deteriorate to allocate all of his organs. He was out of surgery less than ten minutes, but we were circling on him like vultures. Thankfully, he bounced back, but I knew secretly that the group I was with was disappointed. Good organs are hard to come by these days with everyone’s poor health, but that doesn’t stop these companies from convincing families and yourself that you’ll be a hero if you donate. Most of the Organs that I saw come through were either too diseased or injured and they would be thrown away shortly afterwards. Ill never forget watching my trainer convince a family that their mother would be a hero if she donated her organs, only for 2 days later for myself to walk her kidneys down to the bio trash room because they only wanted her organs for research. To answer "So if dead people don’t become organ donors, who do they find?" Lets say you go to the hospital for trouble breathing, maybe you have double pneumonia, maybe you have a really nasty infection and your condition deteriorates to the point where you require to be sedated and be placed on life support. Up to a point, Dr.s are required to treat you, however, say you have terrible insurance and like the rest of don't make a lot of money, The hospital will reach a point where it is no longer economically feasible to continue to treat you. For those that will read that and say " Thats not true" I watched it happen multiple times where you have a person with a better socioeconomic background vs's someone who lives like the rest of us, come in with very similar conditions. Every time, those less fortunate would see the scalpel while those with more money would stay longer in the ICU and eventually would make some form of recovery. But this is by design because poor people cant afford the organs. Only the the rich can truly afford organs. Sure you might have decent insurance and get lucky as a lowly commoner to get something like a kidney, but the truth that after you get that organ, you now no longer a free human but instead a financial slave to what ever Hospital did your surgery. Most if not all organs that get transplanted aren't "Perfect Matches". What that means is that if you get a transplant, you must now and forever take a medication that suppresses your immune system to the point where your body wont try to reject the transplant. This medication isn't cheap even with insurance and the moment you stop taking it, you have roughly 2 days or less before your body begins to reject the organ which almost always results in death. So you have two options, continue to pay your owners to stay "Alive". Or a slow agonizing death. The fun part is that you can pay and still end up dying regardless. The only people that get out ahead in this situation is the company that makes your meds and the hospital that did you surgery. Now for what happens to the donor. As I said, dead people aren't donors. You still need to be very much alive to be a donor. You just can't be "too" alive. When someone has overstayed their welcome at the hospital, rather than pull the plug and let the poor person die naturally, these organ donation companies have contracts where if someone reaches this criteria, they get contacted immediately and are told everything about this patient even if they are a registered donor or not. If your not a registered donor, some companies will send in specialized "support workers " to come and comfort the family. The reality is that these support workers are only there to do one thing. Convince your family to donate your organs. Legally, if your not a registered donor, your wishes to not donate your organs will be honored by the hospital, however that doesn't stop these companies from hounding your family into convincing them into letting the company harvest your organs. I had the displeasure of getting to work along side one of these shapeshifters. While on the way to the family, she told me how she gets the family to agree to donate. She looked at me, put on puppy dog eyes, and said "Im really sorry that this is happening to you" Told me that she says this to every family and that telling the family that this is what their loved one would've wanted is really all you ever have to say. So just know that these support specialists are just there to convince families sign away their loved ones organs. They dont actually care about you. Now for what happens to the Donor. To clarify, you do have to die for your organs to be harvested, you just now die when they say you get to die. If you're a registered donor or your family signs your body away, you are now no longer a person but you are now property of the company that you signed yourself over too. Right before this switch occurred the hospital was ready to kick you out, now that you have a multi million dollar company paying the bill, you now get the best care imaginable, donors will get their own nurse, specialized medications, round the clock monitoring because your organs are worth more than you are worth being alive and healthy. They have specialized protocols that make sure that while they keep your body alive, they don't inadvertently treat the underlying condition that put you into this state to begin with. This process can go on for weeks sometimes and there's nothing your family can even do about it, even if they change there mind. So whats it like being the Donor? All I can say is that it depends, if your declared Brain Dead ( I saw them get this wrong before) then in theory its not to bad. When you're brain dead there shouldn't be any activity going on up there and you wont even realize whats happening. However if you're not brain dead, there's very much a possibility that you are mentally aware of everything thats going on. I had donors that locked eyes with me and mouth words over their breathing tubes as we would go check on them. Once they have determined where the donors organs are going and all the appropriate tests have been done, now the donor can go die in the operating room. Fuck I hit the limit. long story short, you suffer and the rich get richer. dont donate your organs

I hate people that connect with me, my relationship with people are conditional and I'm like the rest of everyone else. I hate it so much that I'm apart of this fucked up world and act like them. Maybe I pass on the pain that was inflicted on me. I hate being a man so much with this vulnerable mental state. I hate how unintuitive and disassociated my mind is. Sometimes I just want someone emotionally and mentally strong enough to rely on while I struggle to fix my own shit. I guess that's why I hate being male, the social stigma of being vulnerable isn't nearly as supported. Sure we have programs but people like us require interpersonal relationships rather than a fleeting professional setting. But yet I treat everyone like shit at the slightest of inconvenience. Why can't it be simple, either I'm not aware and can slide in easily with the crowd or I'm stable enough to make such awareness more bearable to handle. I'm too tired for this shit.

I dont know why I never dated. Im not ugly or hard to talk to, but there part of my brain that shoudl create the contacts to get to know people to date them doesnt seem to work

How i miss u.

😭😭😭😭 This isn't a confession because it's public knowledge but like can u blame me drivings hard

Lady you need help. Exercise regularly and write more.

i’m 19, the last time i was on 4chan was when i was a senior in hs (17.) everyone says im too young or i haven’t met the right person (because im /obviously/ not the problem) or some other bullshit but i know it’s me. i don’t know if it’s how i look anymore or my environment but it’s like things have changed but the love in my life has stayed the same. im too sensitive to be a whore, heart aches for something more and i’m often repulsed by human touch. i wish i was normal. i should’ve had a boyfriend by now like normal girls. 2 years since high school and im returning to inceldom, im not sure how to cope anymore. i did molly a bunch when i was 18 and it was ruining my body, i could feel myself get weaker by the day. petty hope keeps me alive. i don’t know what to do besides hate the way things are looking for me

adding bio song soon

i love u <3

Made Poop and It went Yeaaaaaaaa....

i wish i had at least one friend